Should we do away with separate seating at Smachot in order to encourage more mingling which may lead to marriage?
posted by Michelle at 2:18 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
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11 Comments:
ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is an extremely twisted attempt to fix the problem of shidduchim. Males and females have been traditionally separated for obvious reasons. There is some small opening for supervised mingling solely for the purpose of finding one's match (and why should that be necessary for 20 year olds?). However, Smachot are not the place. Abolishing separate seating at Smachot will only make these sacred gatherings into one big pritzus fest.
6:24 AM
If you want to encourage mingling between singles, fine. But don't do it at Smachot! It's the wrong place and the wrong time.
10:49 AM
mixed seating does nothing for the issue. Ive been to speed dating. Its a totel waste
12:09 PM
Yes! Separate seating at a wedding or bar mitzvah is ridiculous. Let married couples sit together and let singles meet each other.
8:30 AM
To essie-something tells me you just want to have a better time?
9:55 AM
See this article
http://www.jewishpress.com/news_article.asp?article=5263
8:11 AM
I gotta agree with anon #2 on this one.
I also think it depends upon which crowd. For your average Brooklyn yeshiva guy, I don't think it'll help. Most guys who weren't into girls in high school are awkward with the opposite sex in a social situation. They just won't ask someone out. As a result, their best (and usually only) shot at finding a shidduch is through the structure and formality of the shidduch dating system.
And for people who are more modern and/or comfortable with the opposite sex, chances are they wouldn't need to meet someone at a simcha. As a result, this seems to be one of the suggestions that wouldn't help the people it's supposed to help, and would just create more discomfort among people.
11:56 AM
How about keeping the seating separate to prevent your spouses from mingling with too many people-single or married of the opposite gender. This may eliminate you and your spouse comparing your marriage to those of your peers and may also prevent your spouse from getting "a little too friendly" with your friends.
1:07 PM
To the last anonymous--you bring an excellent point. I have seen in all commmunities, a friendliness between married people of the oppoiste sex that got me suspicious. Not that they're cheating, but I don't think it's healthy for either of them. And about comparing marriages, most definitely. But then again, everyone can put on a show, and everyone should know that they are putting on a show.
But then again, what about the increasing number of singles that can't seem to deal with this insane system of Shidduch dating?
1:12 PM
This is primary reason some communties shun an eruv!!! To place an obstacle in front of those who would invite guest families for a shabbat meal. Welcome to Lancaster Pa
5:51 AM
I think Anonymous #1 and Isaac K. make some good points on this issue. In priciple, I think that it can be a good idea. However, for the reasons posted by the 2 aforementioned bloggers, I think that it is unlikely to happen in a productive manner, unless it is well orchestrated by the proper individuals in the proper manner.
Translation: nice try, but not happening (unfortunately)
10:30 PM
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